This Lullaby – Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After all her efforts it is nice that Remy’s mum publically acknowledged her efforts in planning the wedding.  Not that it would make up for all the stress but it was nice.  Remy fails to relax though checking all the details again and again.  This is in accordance to my control theory with her, she might be begrudgingly helping at this wedding but she would want it to be perfect regardless.  The more control she has over the situation, the more she feels safe.  This is completely understandable for someone with her family and history.

All her friends proceed to get trashed at the wedding as there is champagne freely available.  Unfortunately they are acting like drunken relatives from the wrong side of the family and are drawing attention to themselves with the burping and other attention seeking behaviour.  I actually feel embarrassed that they are acting this way.  As much as I want to dislike Jennifer Anne, I too would be looking at them disapprovingly.  I think this is proved with Remy’s feelings that the group is out of balance when Jess isn’t there to help her keep the other two in line.  Jess is definitely the group’s anchor, without her they are adrift in trouble of their own making.

Remy notes that she is a better person that she used to be.  The following interchange is her proof-

“…I mean you don’t smoke anymore.”
“Right…And I hardly get falling down drunk at all.”

Lissa nodded.  “That’s true too”.

“And finally, “I said, finishing my drink.”I don’t sleep around nearly as much as I used to.”

 

I don’t really know how to remark on this.  I was one of those girls who was a tomboy forever and didn’t party much (it scream conservative doesn’t it?) so Remy is completely removed from where I was at that age.  If alcohol, smoking and sex makes you a bad person though then the world is in trouble.  I am more concerned that her mother seems to be completely oblivious to this behaviour.  It also, on face value, seems that this behaviour is at odds with my claim that she likes control but it really isn’t.  This is about her striking out, taking a stance about who she is, what she can do and bugger everyone else.  She chooses to drink, she chooses to smoke (and since has stopped) and she chooses the guys she shares her favours with.  In a way she is a-feminist.  She chooses. It’s her decision making dictating her actions and announcing to the world that she’s in charge.  But as we know we can’t control everything.  I feel like her quitting smoking was less about the smoking and more about her showing that she has enough control to start and stop whatever she pleases.  It was a demonstration of her self-control, that she can stop any of this behaviour when she wants.  That she isn’t one of those out of control teens looking for daddy’s attention but rather showing her strength.  Well that’s my opinion anyway.

I felt bad for Lissa.  Actually I feel bad for Remy too as there is nothing worse than a drunken, heartbroken friend wanting to have a heart-to-heart.  You want to be there for them but the conversation using goes in circles, is peppered with crying and sobbing and then finishes will you holding their hair back in the bathroom.  She really did have high hopes for her relationship though-

“I really thought that Adam and I would get married.”

Is this realistic?  Maybe not, but there is evidence that high school relationships can fail but they can also succeed.

Jess shows up and my heart lifts, poor Remy won’t have to deal with the sloppy sisters alone.  But then that isn’t a fun thing to see upon your arrival either.  Turns out that the G flats, the band arranged by Don, is Dexter’s band.  This should be interesting. 

Parents shouldn’t dance. Hearing in gory detail Don’s horrific lack of rhythm and any semblance of dancing ability was a little shocking.  My dad is equally as bad but chooses to change it up with the occasion chest bump.  Never a good thing.  I am trying to put it behind me but it is truly hard.  It makes sense to me that Remy would hate slow dancing.  That the intimacy would freak her out.  Remy seems to be always in constant motion so she can’t be pinned down.  Being made to dance pressed against another, eyes connecting in the moment would be truly agonising for her.  Someone might see who she really is and not the facade that she puts up.  Wanna bet she slow dances with Dexter at some later point in the novel?

The whole Marti/Patty thing was a little weird.  She was distressed crying rather than happy crying.  Which might mean that she probably crushed on the car salesman and is upset that he’s found someone who makes him happy.  Or not.  I guess the truth will come out eventually.  Maybe he dated her at some point, especially since they work at the same place and she’s resenting his ability to commit to Remy’s mum rather than her. 

After snagging a cigarette and hiding from the wedding Remy again finds herself in the company of Dexter.  From what I can work out, Don bailed the band (or maybe Dexter) out as some point and this is them equalling the score.  They seem to have some integrity with their dislike of playing covers but ‘The Potato Song’ doesn’t sound all that crash hot either. Given the chance to observe him she finds herself a little intrigued and attracted by his dark hair and height.  She goes to make herself known and then sees his interaction with some wanna-be groupies and is instantly repelled.  It’s upon this frustration with herself that we learn that not too long ago Remy would have one nighters, now it’s not her deal.  She has instituted change to a certain degree, holding herself to higher ideals and Dexter made her falter.  He’s challenging her in ways that even he’s not aware of. 

I love all the bickering with the band about covers and hauling equipment.  It’s so typical of a band to be deliberating things like that and I would love to be a fly on the wall taking all that in.  Dexter is brilliant, managing to get in with Jennifer Anne and Chris he worked it so he’d give Remy a lift home.  Now this would freak me out if my brother did this to me, not that he would.  Chris doesn’t even know if Remy knows this guy, it’s kind of a douche-y big brother move and potentially risking her safety.  She’s getting a lift home with a van full of guys unknown to him and he thinks he can trust his sister with them.  Poor move. 

Dexter and Remy have their first real conversation and we learn that Dexter’s mother is the same as Remy’s.  A terminal case of the marrieds.  He seems just as cynical as she is with his comment-

“I really think this one is going to last.”

I am a little surprised as I assumed from his approaches with her, that he’d be a hopeless romantic and optimist.  This is a pleasant surprise, this guy seems to have a firm handle on reality.  Whereas the multiple step-fathers made Dexter more “mellow” it has seemed to have had the opposite affect on Remy. 

“..You just have to go with the flow.  Your life is not your own, with people coming in and out all the time.  You get mellow cause you have to.”

So he might not be an optimist but his belief system is diametrically opposed to Remy’s.  Then he does something that surprises her, he ceases the pursuit, allowing her to get a cab home.  She is surprised and perhaps a little disappointed but it’s her final observation that strikes a chord –

“…Watching him head home, for a second it was like he was the only one awake or even alive in all the world right then, except me.”

Perhaps he has more pull than she believes.

__________________________________________________________________________________

A Note from Adele

Sorry for the delay.  Work went nuts yesterday and being screamed at for two hours didn’t set the right mood for a reading response.

Thanks for the new iTunes review – apparently I am ‘eloquent’.  Colour me shocked but that was super nice.  Please remember to stop by there and review, I am four reviews shy of my goal.  Unfortunately I am not self-centred enough to review myself.

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2 thoughts on “This Lullaby – Chapter 4

  1. you're awesome says:

    i love this. seriously.

  2. […] Reactions SDD Second Novel Announcement Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 […]

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